By Jeff Altman, Big Game Hunter
After participating in a gentleman weekend in 1991, I began volunteering for staff withdrawals in the northeast. Seeing men starting to transform as I had was exciting. The more I did, the more excited I became. I would lead these weekends and be responsible for creating the environment where these changes happened.
“You know when it’s your time to step up,” I often heard.
First I was approved to help the weekend leader. This gave me a window into how retreat management really was. I started to notice the burdens in the role, but I had the support of the leadership team. I wasn’t quite in charge.
Eventually I was certified to be a leader. I was responsible for everything, including logistics and well -being and security of the staff and the participants. There were typically 70 to 80 people on site. Although I had a lot of support, after a few years, I noticed that the fun of volunteering was replaced by management’s burdens. It was now a job that weighs heavily on me.
When I started thinking about going down, I realized that no one had ever talked about knowing when it’s your time to get off. Instead, the focus was always on knowing when it’s your time to step up.
Thus, When I Traveled For My Final Recertification Process, Facilitated by Other Leaders from Throughout the United States, The Panel and Other Leaders Were Shocked When I Answered A Question About Why I Wanted To Be Recertified To Lead Again By Saying, “I have a History of Making Quick Decisions and Acting on My Choices.
I was invited to resign that day and did it.
The rebellion that arose from people who were surprised by my decision was less compared to the relief I felt.
A Google -Searching the term “stairs down” gives these results:
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Abdicate,
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President,
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released,
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giving up,
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Departure,
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resign,
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Go to side (from),
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surrender.
So many of these are like relics from the time when kings ruled and abdicated, given authority, gave up control, waived their crown, surrendered the monarchy to another.
Still, there may be a time when it may make sense to go, move over and change your circumstances. Likewise, a time may come where it makes sense to stop without notice that I have done before.
Here are a few things to think about and maybe act on:
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You’d rather do something else … much of the time! A job and the work you have loved have turned to Drudgery. As BB King sang: “The excitement is gone. It’s not because of your husband, wife or partner. It’s not because of the kids, dog or cat. Definitely, your home or apartment can’t be blamed. They are lifeless. It’s you! All you do is go to work and come home. It is. Maybe you should change your circumstances.
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You don’t care as you once did. At work, management talks about doing “transformation”, but the only transformation you feel is that you are dead inside. The next smile on your face will be in the first this month. . . And that’s already the 27th .. Is that how you want to live your life?
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Stressed eats you from the inside. Every day there is pressure in your body that makes you manic. It’s not normal, even if they tell you it’s. It is the feeling that your body is rebelling against what your mind tells you. As a disease it devours you. You look at your wife/husband or partner and you have no feelings for them anymore. They feel like a burden. It is wrong, but affects many people who confuse satisfying extreme work requirements with love and admiration.
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If you feel physically afraid of staying, come out. Never stay when you feel in danger. People like these will never give you a good reference anyway. They will criticize you to all participants. Leave. Immediately. When I was contacted by MR, you have to make a simple statement that says, “I left because I was assaulted” or “I left because it was unsafe for me to stay. I have everything documented. I expect good reviews from you when you are contacted. Otherwise we will seek compensation and this will become public.”
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If you’ve heard of employees who were walking out the door without the ability to work their last two weeks. Don’t chance it. Tell your boss that you will finish on your last day and not a moment before.
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If you have been in a conflict with your boss and do not want to expose yourself to more abuse, do not notify. Ignore the people who tell you that it is unprofessional not to notify. It is unprofessional not to notify when working for ethical and normal people. When you work for slimeballs that I have, the right thing to do is flee!
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Stop if you think you’re hanging onto a thread emotionally. You know deep inside that if you stay at your job for two more weeks, it can result in you breaking and saying things you shouldn’t. I’ve seen people decompensate, explode or otherwise lose it. When that happens, it gives them the opportunity to blame you and feel that they are not guilty. Leave before it ever gets to that point.
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You enjoy going to work much more than going home. A friend of mine once spent our whole commuting working on telling me how much more he enjoyed commuting to work than he commuted home to his wife. I felt for him and her. Unfortunately, he was out of balance and thought wrong. Never let it come to this point. Your work doesn’t love you. It’s a vampire that sucks life out of you. Find alternatives.
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Do not notify if your boss punishes you for the crime of wanting to work for another or somewhere else. I remember representing a job hunter who worked for an oil company for 30 years. He worked his way up from a clerk to a right junior programmer. The day he notified he was awarded to a small office without a phone (this was in The Times before mobile phones) and no work to do in his last two weeks. Never allow you to run in this position.
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Don’t give message if your business is currently giving off people. You can give the management the opportunity to say that you are a job cut and save someone else’s position.
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You work in a physically uncertain environment. Management demonstrates a lack of care of security. Everyone knows about the problems but no one does anything about them.
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You or a family member have an emergency in health. It is a disadvantage for them, but you have to look after your health and/or support a family member. Go!
A lifetime is not long. Then, one day, you wake up and there are gray or white stripes in your hair where it was once black. There are people at work, there is your son and daughter’s age who make ageist remarks about you that you once did with someone else.
How will you live your life between now and its inevitable conclusion?
Your employer, work or others may require to exceed decency. As a result, you feel that you die a slow death. There is no need to die on an altar of martyrdom and remain in an unhealthy situation.
“I have been defeated
I have been failed
Almost pulled back
Almost Burned out
But I am Leaving It all at the back. “
~ Ian su, “I travel”
If you would like to talk to me before you stop or step down, plan a 30-minute coaching session with me on Thebiggamehunter.us. When asked about the session, write “to hold up” or “step down.” I offer a discount to people facing this challenge.